It was a month already...in my mind I was thinking 2 more months to go before he will start sleeping better (as some people had told me)...I was about to leave for my mom's place in a couple of days hoping to get some rest from this routine (another myth was about to get busted..haha)...I was constantly keeping a check on other babies who were born around the same time as Riaan...to know what all changes can I expect in the coming days...and this works...no like seriously...babies do have a pattern which they stick to (with say some days here or there) but they do and it's a good idea to keep a check and be prepared.
This month also taught me things which helped me later...I can almost call them RULES to follow once you have a baby and I for sure am going to share it will all my loved one's who plan to have a baby anytime in future...it goes like this -
1. NEVER EVER go for a baby until you are ready to give up sleep forever and are all set to just restrict your life around him/her 24*7...there is nothing else you can do as there is no time or energy left for it.
2.PATIENCE PAYS - The first month is by far the most challenging phase with the baby - I know a lot of people who think its easy as the baby is sleeping all the time - but I disagree as this is the time when you both are trying to get used to having each other around all the time - you are trying to understand the baby's requirements - his patterns - your body is changing - your equation with everyone around is changing - so with so many things happening - its difficult to adapt to so many changes at once - but be patient - it will pay off in the coming months. As my experience goes, as they grow up they become easier to manage as you know them better and so do they!
3. SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS - well follow this as a rule if you want yourself to stay sane....We tend to get busy with work which we think we will not be able to do once the baby is up...but it can wait..you need your sleep and that's about it!
4 .POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION IS FOR REAL - When I read about it, I always pitied women who went through this but little did I know that I will be one of them. Thank God for me it was not as severe and it can happen to you too...so do not ignore the signs - if you feel low all the time, get negative thoughts, you think your baby is the root cause of all your problems - you need to get a hang of yourself...talk to someone about it or if there's no one who you think will understand..write about it...take it out...don't just pile up these thoughts within your mind. Taking out time for yourself is the key to fight it but do not hesitate to ask for help if you think things are getting out of control.
5. PAMPER YOURSELF MORE THAN EVER as everybody else will only end up focussing on the baby, it's you who has to take care of yourself and make sure you stay happy.When I say Pamper yourself - it does not mean going to a SPA (that is absolutely unimaginable) but be easy on yourself...take out 5 mins to look after yourself...eat what you like...dress how you like...and ask for help so that you can get your rest...and well if you are thinking THIS is not pampering...well trust me it is once you have a baby..like I said your perceptions change :)
6.DO NOT STRESS OVER FEEDING - If you end up in a situation like me - do not stress over it.It happens to a lot of women and it's alright. It does not mean we have something lacking as mothers and there are ways to overcome this.Talk to your Doctor/Lactation consultant - they can suggest you ways to help - if for some reason nothing works out for you (as in my case) we have our dependable Formula which will keep our baby's healthy and safe (I can vouch for it).
7. INVOLVE YOUR PARTNER - I think this is extremely important that both the partners should be involved in raising a baby...it should not only be a mother's job...I had my husband helping me once he was at home and still there were days when I felt life is unfair when I watched him sleep at night while I was up with the baby - imagine women who do it all by themselves!! A mother will always be more involved no doubt - but having a helping hand is always good and who better than our "LIFE PARTNER" to extend that help :)
8.IGNORE UNNECESSARY ADVICE - Once you have a baby - you will get advice like in dozens from women around you - especially the elder one's - now there will be some useful stuff so take that but along with that comes oodles of stuff which only causes worry and is of no help.Stick to your Doctor's prescription - if in doubt check again with them - what worked for our mom's may not always work for us or our baby's...time's have changed - we have better options and trust your Doctor!
9.THERE IS NO ONE RIGHT WAY - We at times get too caught up in using the right way to raise our babies right from the start - well initially at least there is no right or wrong way of doing things - go with what works for you and your baby. There is no harm is experimenting - if your baby likes to sleep on you its ok as long as he can sleep and you can get some rest as well...people used to tell me that Riaan will get used to sleeping like this but no..habits can be changed..now he sleeps in his cot happily but yes first 2 months that's how I made him sleep...I used to make him sleep in my arms for a while and then put him down and it worked for me.
10. TAKE OUT TIME FOR YOUR PARTNER - This applies to both the mother and the father - as it happens that either the mother is too obsessed to be around the baby that she has not time for her husband or the father is so enchanted with the baby that he tends to ignore the wife.Both cases lead to an unhappy marriage - take out time for each other - take help from your parents to look after your baby for a couple of hours so that you two can go out.For mothers who feed their babies - breast pump was invented for mother's like you :)
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