My first trip out to CP with my hubby meant Riaan was left behind...honestly I was excited to go out without him and there are days I still feel like that...it may lead to question marks on my love for Riaan but all that put to rest...I love him...probably more than I have ever loved anyone in this world...but I love myself too and there are days when I need to give myself some space to connect back to myself...the real me..not the mother...not the wife...not the daughter...just ME as my friends know it!!
Now that Riaan was about to complete a month people had started to tell me that he should be sleeping better at night but for me it was turning out the other way round.He had started to stay up for stretches upto 2-4 hours...like one day he was awake from 1-5 am and I had totally lost it by the time I asked my husband to help me out.The whole time he just wanted to be carried in my arms...and I was tired...super sleepy...irritated as well..those are the moments when you feel so frustrated of the whole situation that you end up swearing to kill everyone who suggested it's good to have babies.I could almost imagine myself shooting them.I tried to put him down...make him play with some toys but nothing helped...he used to start crying...I tried feeding him...he puked...like everything was going wrong and I was absolutely clueless. I wanted to wake up everyone in the house and show them how much this cute little baby troubles me at night...just for the records.
By 5am I had lost all my patience...I woke up my husband...and handed over Riaan to him and I just crashed on the bed.It took him only a couple of minutes to put Riaan to sleep and it just added to my frsutration...I spend 4 hours managing the little monster and the minute he comes to daddy he sleeps...how unfair is that!! :P No I'm not insane...I can bet most mommies face these emotions...but off course I could sleep finally so I was thankful to my husband.
Such nights became routine for some time...and I also had a stay over planned at my aunt's place this week...my youngest sis was coming home and she was super excited to meet Riaan.I had a herculean task ahead of me....packing his stuff and make sure nothing important is missed out.
Packing your baby's stuff is like a mother's worst nightmare because it's like never ending...its amazing how these little creatures needs every possible thing on earth to be carried just for one night and the stress it causes...especially as a new mom you are superbly worried as you do not want to trigger the already deadly cry of the baby...no not during that one day when I'm supposed to have fun.
So to play safe I made a list and started to pack and the list went like this - diapers...baby wipes...dry sheet...clothes...medicines..thermometer...feeding bottles...sterilizer...bottlewarmer..towel...baby wash...baby lotion...nappy cream...diaper rash powder...muslin cloth...formula..and finally his duvet. Gosh...I re-checked everything I had kept in the bag to make sure I do not forget anything...I have never done that for myself...oh yes I had to keep my stuff as well...a pair of clothes...toothbrush and I was done. See the difference...a full adult and a baby...its like the stuff needed for a person is inversely proportional to his/her age :P
My sister along with my uncle had come to pick him up...it was the first time I was taking him out post the doctor;s visit and I was nervous...it took us hardly half n hour to reach their place but I seriously gave a sigh of relief once we reached...all good...no fuss...it's not that bad :D I was dreaming of a day where I will finally sleep and others will take care of the baby...a dream it was!!
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