My Journey of Motherhood - Week 6 - Our first trip to the mall!

Naani's house is meant to be fun...atleast for the mother :) ever since I got married...whenever I visited my mommy's place...I always felt a sense of calm and peace inside my mind...like no expectations...you can just chill...lie on the couch the whole day....skip shower...roam around in shots/pj's...eat what you like - when you like -however way you like ...there was nobody to question anything...though nobody questions me at my in-laws too...but still it's never the same as your mum's place...but not any more :( I had a baby who was a constant reminder that your time to chill is gone - you report to duty when I call - which was all the bloody time.

With Riaan I could barely tell any difference...there was no time to talk...I could barely take couple of minutes off to pee...the only time I had to myself was when he slept during the day but that too was like conditional...like if I stay in the same room watching over him..he sleeps...but the moment I think that may be I can go out..talk to mom...or watch tv...call a friend..he'll wake up within 5 minutes of that thought entering my mind!! Yes...I think he can read my mind...totally.

We had no routine...I used to wake up when Riaan refused to go back to sleep...I almost acted like a Zombie half way through noon...by the time my mum gave him a bath...I used to keep his stuff ready (milk, clothes, powder, lotion, nappy cream, diaper - that's a lot for a baby I feel)....then we used to hope that he will sleep for a while atleast but most days he woke up in like 20 minutes flat. I do not remember taking a shower anytime before 4 pm except one day when we decided to go out.

Now that was a big thing...taking Riaan out for the first time...and when I say out it's not going to some one's place but literally out...to the mall :D Yaiyeeee....I had been waiting for this day...it took me 5 long days to do this...otherwise my older self never stayed at home with mom...we both love to go out...watch movies...shop...eat out...so we really had to control ourselves but then we gave up.We thought lets be brave and take the kid out.I again had all the stuff ready...warm water for the way and the mall...formula...spare clothes...pram...diapers (lots of them)...wipes...baby wrap..I think that was it. 

Riaan happily slept on the way and we got a little confident that this should be fine...he will be fresh by the time we reach and he should allow us an hour or two before we head back.The moment we entered the...he started crying...and I was like :O how cum...you just slept...then I thought may be he was hungry but no he did not want milk...the next option was diaper change...so I looked for a loo...and there was a loo especially for mommies like me with a diaper changing table...now that is an experience...changing your baby's diaper on his first outing in a public place..he had pooped...and thank God mum was with me..it would have been rather tough for me to handle this all by self...you need practice! once that was done...now he wanted milk..so I gave him the bottle and we waited for a while till he feel full and is happy to go.By now me and mom had actually started to exchange those looks like should be we go back...may be it wasn;t a good idea to get him here...but he was happily having his milk and may be planning his next move!

He allowed us to eat our lunch in peace...but that was it...post that he just refused to sit in his pram...he just wanted to be held and even then he was acting cranky God knows why?? So we rushed back to the car and headed home...just when we were about to reach...my mum asked me if I would like to check out a shop near our place (now since Riaan had again dozed off to sleep) and I just jumped out of excitement...I had refrained from shopping for last 2  months almost and the very prospect of buying something for myself was too tempting for me to refuse. I was ready to risk a cranky baby for the love of shopping and it was worth it!I got two pretty kurtas and that feeling of fitting into your previous size before you turned into a walking football...it was amazing!!!! 

See that's the thing about mom's they just know how to make your day when you least expect anything to bring back that girly sparkle in your eyes :)

My Journey of Motherhood - Week 6 - We go to Naani's house finally!!

I was waiting for this day....and I had dreams...mom's place meant all the fun...unlimited sleep...crazy shopping sprees...catching up with my family...I had already started to party in my mind...Ohh this was just what I needed and here I was finally!! 

I was all excited to pack my bags...got Riaan ready and so did I :) It was the first time Riaan was about to travel for 1.5 hours so we were a bit nervous too about how will he be on the way...we were hoping he wont get cranky mid way and he did show mercy on us...he slept through most of the times and we were happy to travel in peace :D

Once there...my mom had come down to receive us...she had been waiting to meet Riaan and the moment I was out of the car...she took over him with the brightest smile I had seen in a long time.That's the thing about having kids...when you see your parents holding them with such joy...it feels so good...it's one of those heart melting moments in life :) Coming to the luggage..well there was lots...since I had come here to stay for around a week...I was carrying everything possible for Riaan...so a bag full of clothes, diapers, formula, feeding bottles, sterilizer, bottle warmer, his pram - everything was to be carried...my mom had already bought toys for him so thankfully that was taken care of.

Riaan was happy to be there too it seems since we woke up without making any noise...he was just silently observing the new place he was in...and as he woke up my duty resumed again...had to feed him...make him burp and then check if he wants to sleep again or is he ok to stay awake...yeah so like that early in motherhood you still need time to understand this...unless the baby doses off while feeding (which is something I always hoped for :P)...so he did not want to sleep...so me and my hubby started to play with him...showing him all the new toys...and as we were getting comfortable he suddenly puked...like really puked all his milk out...like a waterfall of curdled milk and I was like shocked :O it was the first time I saw him doing something like this...first day at mom;s house and this...no...I did not want this!! I cleaned him up...changed his clothes...changed the bed sheet...and then I carried him for sometime so that he feels a bit better.

Finally my dad was back from work and I could not wait to see him with Riaan. So far whenever we met he always looked at Riaan from a distance...never getting too close..I thought that was natural since all of us are scared to hold new born's...but now I felt he would be happy to hold him and I was right...first time in my life I saw my dad holding a baby that small and trying to talk to him...I was amazed watching that scene...he was just like he was with me when I was a kid...making funny faces...and those weird sounds I loved listening to..2 of my favorite men (well Riaan is technically about to be a man  so) happily looking at each other ...one of my favorite moments!!

Once my hubby left...it was just the four of us...mom got busy with cooking dinner....dad and I started to talk when suddenly Riaan started crying which meant it was time for feed...I gave him milk...he started to sleep and I felt haa...now he will sleep and I'll get back to my discussion...but no..the moment I kept him down on the bed....he started crying again...and I was like...whyy?? You had your milk...now you're sleepy...so sleep...but no...he had other plans...he wanted to sleep on my shoulder and stay that way...I said to myself...it's just his first day here...may be he;s a bit uncomfortable..new place...new surroundings...lets give him some time...but as it turned out the entire week was not enough for this to change.

My Journey of Motherhood - Week 5 - Cutting his nails and our first family Dinner

Riaan had completed 40 days...which is a milestone as per Hindu traditions...usually mothers and their baby's are allowed to go out post 40 days in most families...though in our case we had already started to go out but it was an occasion to indulge in an outing again!!

So since I wasn't too keen on experimenting back then...I decided to take him to my aunt's place again (like most new mom's I was worried about handling him in public...what will I do if he starts crying was like the biggest question mark in my life...so I played safe) ...hoping this time it should be better...and it was in some ways...like I was happy to go their in PJ's itself (didn't really make sense to wear jeans or get ready only for transit..see you learn these things with time :P ) ...it was easier to pack for him this time..there was less panic..my MIL had him ready and my aunty and sis were more than happy to take him over...and I was very happy to have my hands free :D (another new mom thing)...and like I had mentioned in my earlier posts...that when you end up staying in doors for days together...any change is good...even if it means going to another home and staying in there...at least you get to see different people and in this case just my kind of people best explained as "My Favorite kind of people are those that can't finish their joke cos they are laughing so Hard" ..yesss...that's us :D

The thing with babies is that you want to capture them in all possible poses...you do not want to miss any memory which can be used to look back and laugh...like we all have those funny childhood pics which at one point we found pure embarrassment  to look at...but as we grow up they never seize to bring a smile on our faces...so here too that was the first thing we did...my sis is obsessed with glares and she had to see how Riaan looks wearing them..so here was how he looked like - 

hahahahha..so yeah tiny round face and glares...not bad huh!!

And did you notice the mittens...so this is quite interesting..we had to make sure that he wears his mittens at all times...even in the scorching heat of May...as he had really sharp nails like as if they were filed to attack people or for self defense may be...but we were really scared that he might just scratch his own face...which he loves to do...now you must be thinking why we didn't cut them. 

Cutting a baby's nails is like one of the bravest things to do...so imagine...tiny lil hands...on that extremely fine and delicate tiny nails...the intensity of the hand movement and not to forget the frequency...Riaan had his hand movements even when he was sleeping...so as a new parent you will be scared that you might end up cutting his finger if you miss the target!! So my aunt had come to our rescue..she offered help and I grabbed it with both hands...and the ease with which she managed to cut his nails..I was in pure awe...it was like wow...that easy...I think I gained some confidence there that may be I can do it myself too. That was the day his hands got free...How nice he must have felt to feel his hands on his face....I can only imagine :)

Our stay was much more comfortable than last time...my aunt was on leave..so she had him all the time...I was feeling super relieved to just chill and see my baby from a distance...and it's brilliant how these ladies can do everything with a baby in their hand...they can eat...drink tea...talk on the phone...there is nothing that obstructs them...and I just end up staring at him when I have to do it.Now after almost 6 months I can manage to eat with him (only of he is sleeping or else I still have to ask for help). There was still lots to learn.

The next day we had a dinner planned...so it was my brother in law's anniversary...so a dinner for that with the extended family as well. Since it was all formal...there again are some expectations as to you need to dress up well and go and ever since my pregnancy I had found this whole dressing up funda extremely repulsive...biggest reason being I always felt awkward about the way I looked...like even now I had a belly (like I'm still 5 months prego) so I had to really think about what to wear which will cover it up...I did not want to look fat...my pregnancy clothes were way to loose for me now and my earlier clothes were a bit fitted for me...so I had very few options to chose from...so all this combined and I just wanted to avoid it....these times the biggest support you get is from your husband...like he can make you feel really comfortable in your skin...like for me too he made me feel so chill about the whole thing that I decided to go with it!

                                                 (This being our first official pic - 3 of us)

So we took the baby..his pram...all the essentials needed for an outing (diapers, wipes, formula, warm water, a small towel, a pair of change for Riaan - all in that big bag you see above) and we headed for the dinner.It was themed restaurant - Jungle theme - which meant extremely dim lights with all kind s of creepy animal noises... it was covered with greens all around...so interesting and brilliant for me as people could hardly make out what you are wearing in such dim light...in a way I was happy that I didn't make much effort to dress up (the creepy smile ;). Since we had a baby in a pram we took the farthest corner to sit....me and hubby were happy as we could avoid the unnecessary discussions which we both detest...we were happy in our little corner..the three of us :)

Riaan slept through the whole thing barring one time when he woke up as he was hungry...had his milk and slept again...I think now I realize that it's the best time to take your baby out for dinners or lunch..as they keep sleeping most times during the day ....you can happily eat...in comparison to now when he will not sleep in slightest of the noise or light...it's like he feels he is missing on the excitement outside and if they are awake you just have to keep them entertained...half your dinner time goes in acting like a retard just to make sure your baby is smiling and feels he is being attended.

My Journey of Motherhood - Week 5 - First vaccination and the magic of girlfriends!!

Are you scared of injections?? The moment you realize a needle is about to pierce your skin you feel like running away?? It totally happens with me and yes even now....One thing I hated during pregnancy was all those countless blood tests....they used to draw blood in those little bottles and every time I used to see that happen I used to close my eyes trying to suppress my cry.Now what can be worse than this - See your baby go through the same!! 

The tiny little thing safely wrapped in my hands...we were waiting for our turn and I could hear babies wailing inside - I assumed they too were getting their vaccinations - and I was scared...not that my baby will get hurt but more so about how will I soothe him once he starts crying...ok...it may sound a bit harsh but trust me...that's how you think when you have spent a night trying to do the same and failed miserably...that sound of a crying baby is the last thing you want to hear again and that too your own's. 

As we got into the room..the doctor checked his weight, height etc which was progressing well...my baby was already 5 kgs (which explained why I always felt like crashing on the bed after carrying him for 15 mins) but I was happy that he was doing well...healthy...(more so as I had heard a lot of gyaan for my feeding). Then came the time for his vaccination and as expected Riaan cried in his loudest possible voice then...I just held him close and we moved out. Thankfully I had a feeding bottle handy and the moment I put that in his mouth he was quite...drinking his milk and he dozed off! Haaa...that was easy I thought...MILK is the answer :) From then on...I always keep his milk handy after the Pediatrician visit (esp. after vaccines) and it always helps!

One agenda off my list, I felt lighter....and finally after probably more than 2 months I went to the salon (that's a really long gap...right??) ...well its quite a normal thing to do...nothing to boast off but after having a baby it's a LUXURY!! Finding time to get the basics done is an achievement itself..then finding someone to take care of the baby while you are out...another achievement...and you have to be quick...like plan your stuff that you need to get done...you probably will not get to spend hours there ( the baby will cry....people will panic and they'll keep calling you and ask how much time more?? ) 

But still...it's brave of them to keep the baby...I probably wouldn't have the guts to do that myself.It felt so good to get rid of all the unwanted hair...a nice pedicure and foot massage...all under 2 hours...the salon was my new favorite place now...to sit in peace and get a foot massage = Heaven post motherhood :D

The next day I had a friend come over to meet us...it's amazing when you reconnect with your college friends with your babies...it's like you see a different version of that person you had known for so long...so I was the one with the baby and she well had passed that stage much earlier...in her I found that one person with whom I could discuss all my doubts...worries and off course lets not miss the cribbing!! Friends esp. girls are great at comforting your anxiety...they can make you feel like whatever you are feeling is like the most natural thing in the world...and there is nothing you should be worried about...and no matter how many times you hear the same thing coming from your mom or your husband...when it comes from a friend you believe it!! 

Meeting her was the best thing that happened to me around that time...she had put my worries to rest and prepared me well for the times ahead...and there is nothing a gossip session with a friend cannot cure :D and on top of it when I looked at her...I could see some hope...there was this girl who had a kid..but she still managed to look perfect...do well at work and manage her home...so it is possible! Thank you Sweta for making me feel like life will get better and the tough times are just a passing phase :) 

My Journey of Motherhood - 10 Lessons I learnt in Month 1

It was a month already...in my mind I was thinking 2 more months to go before he will start sleeping better (as some people had told me)...I was about to leave for my mom's place in a couple of days hoping to get some rest from this routine (another myth was about to get busted..haha)...I was constantly keeping a check on other babies who were born around the same time as Riaan...to know what all changes can I expect in the coming days...and this works...no like seriously...babies do have a pattern which they stick to (with say some days here or there) but they do and it's a good idea to keep a check and be prepared.

This month also taught me things which helped me later...I can almost call them RULES to follow once you have a baby and I for sure am going to share it will all my loved one's who plan to have a baby anytime in future...it goes like this - 

1. NEVER EVER go for a baby until you are ready to give up sleep forever and are all set to just restrict your life around him/her 24*7...there is nothing else you can do as there is no time or energy left for it.

2.PATIENCE PAYS - The first month is by far the most challenging phase with the baby - I know a lot of people who think its easy as the baby is sleeping all the time - but I disagree as this is the time when you both are trying to get used to having each other around all the time - you are trying to understand the baby's requirements - his patterns - your body is changing - your equation with everyone around is changing - so with so many things happening - its difficult to adapt to so many changes at once - but be patient - it will pay off in the coming months. As my experience goes, as they grow up they become easier to manage as you know them better and so do they!

3. SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS - well follow this as a rule if you want yourself to stay sane....We tend to get busy with work which we think we will not be able to do once the baby is up...but it can wait..you need your sleep and that's about it!

4 .POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION IS FOR REAL - When I read about it, I always pitied women who went through this but little did I know that I will be one of them. Thank God for me it was not as severe and it can happen to you too...so do not ignore the signs - if you feel low all the time, get negative thoughts, you think your baby is the root cause of all your problems - you need to get a hang of yourself...talk to someone about it or if there's no one who you think will understand..write about it...take it out...don't just pile up these thoughts within your mind. Taking out time for yourself is the key to fight it but do not hesitate to ask for help if you think things are getting out of control.

5. PAMPER YOURSELF MORE THAN EVER as everybody else will only end up focussing on the baby, it's you who has to take care of yourself and make sure you stay happy.When I say Pamper yourself - it does not mean going to a SPA (that is absolutely unimaginable) but be easy on yourself...take out 5 mins to look after yourself...eat what you like...dress how you like...and ask for help so that you can get your rest...and well if you are thinking THIS is not pampering...well trust me it is once you have a baby..like I said your perceptions change :)

6.DO NOT STRESS OVER FEEDING - If you end up in a situation like me - do not stress over it.It happens to a lot of women and it's alright. It does not mean we have something lacking as mothers and there are ways to overcome this.Talk to your Doctor/Lactation consultant - they can suggest you ways to help - if for some reason nothing works out for you (as in my case) we have our dependable Formula which will keep our baby's healthy and safe (I can vouch for it).

7. INVOLVE YOUR PARTNER - I think this is extremely important that both the partners should be involved in raising a baby...it should not only be a mother's job...I had my husband helping me once he was at home and still there were days when I felt life is unfair when I watched him sleep at night while I was up with the baby - imagine women who do it all by themselves!! A mother will always be more involved no doubt - but having a helping hand is always good and who better than our "LIFE PARTNER" to extend that help :)

8.IGNORE UNNECESSARY ADVICE - Once you have a baby - you will get advice like in dozens from women around you  - especially the elder one's - now there will be some useful stuff so take that but along with that comes oodles of stuff which only causes worry and is of no help.Stick to your Doctor's prescription - if in doubt check again with them - what worked for our mom's may not always work for us or our baby's...time's have changed - we have better options and trust your Doctor!

9.THERE IS NO ONE RIGHT WAY - We at times get too caught up in using the right way to raise our babies right from the start - well initially at least there is no right or wrong way of doing things - go with what works for you and your baby. There is no harm is experimenting - if your baby likes to sleep on you its ok as long as he can sleep and you can get some rest as well...people used to tell me that Riaan will get used to sleeping like this but no..habits can be changed..now he sleeps in his cot happily but yes first 2 months that's how I made him sleep...I used to make him sleep in my arms for a while and then put him down and it worked for me.

10. TAKE OUT TIME FOR YOUR PARTNER - This applies to both the mother and the father - as it happens that either the mother is too obsessed to be around the baby that she has not time for her husband or the father is so enchanted with the baby that he tends to ignore the wife.Both cases lead to an unhappy marriage - take out time for each other - take help from your parents to look after your baby for a couple of hours so that you two can go out.For mothers who feed their babies - breast pump was invented for mother's like you :) 

My Journey of Motherhood - Week 4 - First Stay over with the baby

The moment we got into the house and I handed over the baby to my aunt and sister.My mom had also come over to meet us and it was just perfect..like old times...my favorite people around me!I could eat what I like (not that people stop me at home but its just special when you go to your mom side...with all the pampering :))...our rounds of tea...gossip....laughter...and I was looking forward to get some sleep.

Everybody was all excited to see Riaan...LIVE in action...I had been telling them about what kind of noises he makes when he sleeps....how he moves his hands...the way he looks while drinking milk...and God knows what not...so this was the time when you see all that LIVE.The moment we entered he started crying...I assumed he wanted milk...and this time I was right (I was getting a hang of his crying patterns now...the mommie genes were coming in action)...I had his milk handy...fed him..as he slept and I was like haaaaaaa....now I'll change and chill (I had worn a jean after good 4 months and it felt extremely uncomfortable when I was used to being in my pj's all day long)

As we had our lunch...my sisters were busy clicking pictures of Riaan...they were so amused to see his tiny hands and legs...and the fact he made such funny noise while sleeping....I was happily talking and having my tea (in peace for a change).I finally jumped on to the bed to sleep...and around the same time my sister started showing some pictures to everybody else and then started a series of laughter sessions (given her amazing talent to describe the story behind the pics)...I was trying really hard to resist and sleep but as they say Laughter is infectious...I bursted out laughing myself and that caused a further "Yesssssssss" kinda reaction from everybody in the room...considering...I gave up my sleep to join in the conversation....my precious sleep...which was indeed an achievement!!

But it was needed....all this month I had been at home...just watching over the baby...I had almost forgotten to laugh like this....it was actually gloomy back home with the constant worry about the baby...and I don't really get it why people tend to get obsessed with being worried about the baby(it's almost like if you are not worried...there's something wrong with you...they'll give you reasons to worry then - like he's not burping properly...he's farting too much...his head shape will go bad if you make him sleep like this..bla bla bla)...as far as the baby is healthy and following a normal pattern...we should be allowed to chill...but somehow elders never stop giving you lectures on what can go wrong...and that's annoying..very annoying!!

Anyways..back to the happy place...we did photo sessions too...so the thing was that so far nobody had clicked us together...as in me and Riaan...we only had 1-2 selfies which I somehow managed to click but I wanted a really nice picture of us together..and I still am waiting for that perfect picture...I think I'll have to get it clicked professionally now!! We were also trying to compare his looks with me ...and well...it was difficult to say anything..we tried doing a detailed match up too..the only common thing for now was that we both loved to sleep...though he got all the sleep he wanted and for me it was luxury now :P

Riaan happily slept for most part of the day so I was prepared that he will for sure give me trouble sleeping at night and that was indeed the case...he again had a stretch of good 3 hours where he didn't sleep...he just wanted to be carried in my arms...as soon as I used to try to make him sleep in the bed...he used to start to moving...and eventually crying...none of us could sleep properly except my sister who for some reason had turned deaf to the baby's cry :P Right from my mom to my aunt...everybody tried soothing him...and after all the hard work he finally slept on me...his favorite sleeping position back then!

A sleepless night meant...an extremely tired day...the next day...me and mom were just lying on the bed like zombies...we made Riaan bathe and sleep...and post that we just wanted to lie down and sleep ourselves but it was time for us to get ready and head back home. All through the time I was getting ready I was just thinking...how different this experience was from all my previous stays here....the whole time we were stuck with the baby...wether he was sleeping or awake..crying or happy...it was all about him and it will be from now on I guess. But this was fun too (It would have been better had he slept well ;) ) as we were getting to know the newest member of our gang and letting him in - in our chill zone :D

My Journey of Motherhood - Week 4 - Night stories and Packing for our first stay over

My first trip out to CP with my hubby meant Riaan was left behind...honestly I was excited to go out without him and there are days I still feel like that...it may lead to question marks on my love for Riaan but all that put to rest...I love him...probably more than I have ever loved anyone in this world...but I love myself too and there are days when I need to give myself some space to connect back to myself...the real me..not the mother...not the wife...not the daughter...just ME as my friends know it!!

Now that Riaan was about to complete a month people had started to tell me that he should be sleeping better at night but for me it was turning out the other way round.He had started to stay up for stretches upto 2-4 hours...like one day he was awake from 1-5 am and I had totally lost it by the time I asked my husband to help me out.The whole time he just wanted to be carried in my arms...and I was tired...super sleepy...irritated as well..those are the moments when you feel so frustrated of the whole situation that you end up swearing to kill everyone who suggested it's good to have babies.I could almost imagine myself shooting them.I tried to put him down...make him play with some toys but nothing helped...he used to start crying...I tried feeding him...he puked...like everything was going wrong and I was absolutely clueless. I wanted to wake up everyone in the house and show them how much this cute little baby troubles me at night...just for the records.

By 5am I had lost all my patience...I woke up my husband...and handed over Riaan to him and I just crashed on the bed.It took him only a couple of minutes to put Riaan to sleep and it just added to my frsutration...I spend 4 hours managing the little monster and the minute he comes to daddy he sleeps...how unfair is that!! :P No I'm not insane...I can bet most mommies face these emotions...but off course I could sleep finally so I was thankful to my husband.

Such nights became routine for some time...and I also had a stay over planned at my aunt's place this week...my youngest sis was coming home and she was super excited to meet Riaan.I had a herculean task ahead of me....packing his stuff and make sure nothing important is missed out.

Packing your baby's stuff is like a mother's worst nightmare because it's like never ending...its amazing how these little creatures needs every possible thing on earth to be carried just for one night and the stress it causes...especially as a new mom you are superbly worried as you do not want to trigger the already deadly cry of the baby...no not during that one day when I'm supposed to have fun.

So to play safe I made a list and started to pack and the list went like this - diapers...baby wipes...dry sheet...clothes...medicines..thermometer...feeding bottles...sterilizer...bottlewarmer..towel...baby wash...baby lotion...nappy cream...diaper rash powder...muslin cloth...formula..and finally his duvet. Gosh...I re-checked everything I had kept in the bag to make sure I do not forget anything...I have never done that for myself...oh yes I had to keep my stuff as well...a pair of clothes...toothbrush and I was done. See the difference...a full adult and a baby...its like the stuff needed for a person is inversely proportional to his/her age :P

My sister along with my uncle had come to pick him up...it was the first time I was taking him out post the doctor;s visit and I was nervous...it took us hardly half n hour to reach their place but I seriously gave a sigh of relief once we reached...all good...no fuss...it's not that bad :D I was dreaming of a day where I will finally sleep and others will take care of the baby...a dream it was!!

My Journey of Motherhood - Week 3 - Naming ceremony & Mumma's day out!!

It was decided, we will have the naming ceremony this week.Calls were made to invite all the important (not always loved) relatives and friends to bless the baby on that day.Now such rituals mean a lot of stress to Naani side people - it's like performance pressure - what all did Naani get for the baby.Even though people deny that and say that they do not make a fuss over these things but the fact is they do and they love to talk about it.Things you do out of love is great but when you end up doing things just because you have to...that just sucks out the fun part...but such is life. 

So my mom had stuffed her house with all the possible things she could get hold off...barring some which I strictly told her not to as we had already bought it or were planning to buy it ourselves only.I was told to dress up for the day - dressing up for me was like a challenge and here's why - my stitches still hurt, my face wasn't exactly glowing, I had not been able to move out of the house for an eye brow even..so imagine all the unwanted stuff...and my lenses had expired..so I had 2 choices: 

1) All dressed up with glasses and look like Jassi (Jassi jaisi koi nahi...rings a bell?? ) or

2) All dressed up and half blind guessing names by staring at faces from a distance as obviously everything will be hazy (I realized this one would have been fun :P..but much after the ceremony)

So I did the minimal thing - found a mix and match suit...kept the glasses handy (smart...isn't it) initially thought of opening my hair but given the heat I folded them in a bun in like half n hour flat!! Did some make up to make myself look better but again...the heat...plus the Pooja...double heat effect...all make up was swept away with my sweat.

I had to sit for the pooja holding the baby in my arms....on a stool (as I was not supposed to sit down) for the pooja...I was simply waiting for it get over...my arms had started to hurt in some time...my back was absolutely gone...and I was supposed to cover my head with the dupatta which was slipping down every 2 mins...I didn't listen to a word that Pandit was saying...the only thing I cared about was the cake at the end of the pooja...Hope the Gods didn't mind :P

Post the ceremony, I was officially allowed to go out of the house. Yes, there indeed is a official permission sorts you need to get to move out of the house once you've had a baby...I know it sounds funny...like visits to the doctor is allowed (People are generous in our country that ways :P ) but apart from that going out is a big NO.I agree till a certain time I wasn't really in a condition to go out...but post say a week or max 10 days I desperately wanted to go out..like just for a cup of coffee or a movie but I had to wait good 21 days...for some this confinement period lasts up to 40 days...so I should say I was lucky :D

My first outing was to CP...my fav place in Delhi perhaps...it was great to be back there feeling a bit normal...not having to worry about where will I find a place to pee (yes...that used to happen on every trip during pregnancy...I can almost recommend places now)...to just roam around with my husband...eating what I liked (no restrictions)...walking as much as I like...it was amazing...I just wish we could have got more time...I just wanted to stay there...for some time I had forgotten I am mother...it was just the girl in me who was out with the love of her life and she was happy :)

My Journey of Motherhood - Baby - Week 2 - Time crunch and Baby gets a Name

With the insecurity taking over, I was losing track of time as well. Effectively I felt I don't do much in a day...but still I had no time for myself.Even though the baby slept most times during the day the moment I used to think of having a cup of tea or any meal he used to wake up and started crying :( 

I had no clues how on earth did he sense that his mom wanted to relish a cup of tea and relax.There were times I felt is he doing it deliberately and then I was like he's too small to try these tactics :P There were times when I used to gulp my tea in 5 mins flat fearing the baby will wake up and my warm tea will turn into Iced tea by the time I get a chance to get to it and I hated this part.I love having my morning tea in peace...relishing every sip...just looking out of my window/balcony and this now was an absolute luxury for me and I was waiting for the day I would be able to do this again.

During my break time - when some other family member used to take him with them, I used to just lie down on my bed like dead meat. I had no energy to do anything - I used to just drag myself to take a shower, rush through a cup of tea/meals, pump out milk for him and get ready again to take over the baby.

At times I wonder how do people manage babies when they have no support system...I can't even come to think of it...I was going mad with half a dozen people to help me at home!To top it all you end up seeing pictures of these celebrity moms who look perfect...and here we have no time to look at our face properly in the mirror. In the first few days I don't remember giving more than 5 mins to myself when it came to deciding on what clothes to wear or how to do my hair...there was no time to think of all this, no energy and no interest also.

Coming to looks - thats another area which needs attention...so obviously post pregnancy your belly is still out...your skin is a bit lose and this whole crazy routine takes a toll on your face...dark circles....dull skin..there was one particular day when I managed to look at myself properly in the mirror and I didn't like what I saw...and I did not want to accept this change. I know many people say that embrace the change your body goes through during pregnancy...but I did not want to take it as an excuse and ignore the way I look. 

I could barely do much about my belly and lose skin back then unless I got a go ahead from my doctor for some work out but I started to make sure that I take care of my skin.Dark circles would be difficult to deal with until the sleep problem is solved but I can surely do something to make things better for myself. So drinking water, getting back to my night time skin care routine, cleaning my face with Rose water, face wash then moisturizing, once the baby slept were steps to begin with and it made me feel good!

It was also time to decide a name for the baby since we were supposed to have a havan (a ritual as per hinduism) to name the baby.The letter decided was "R" and all of us had started to search for names.We came across quite amusing names on Google like "Raees" meaning rich to Raaakaa which sounded like a villain's name out of some 90's Bollywood movie. After much discussion we all agreed to name the baby "Riaan" which meant "Little King".I just loved this name the moment my sister in law suggested it...you know that feeling when you think that this is just perfect :)