One thing I forgot to mention yesterday was the crazy sweating that happens...I was sweating like a pig the whole night...I woke up with a wet t- shirt the next morning...it was like all the water I had during pregnancy was finally coming out...and thats literally what happens so its a good thing..unless you get fever which might be due to some infection...and in my dreams I just wanted to grab my husband...all these months of waiting and finally a chance to get back to normal life..I was waiting for my alone time with him..but there was still time!
So now, back to where I left, the day finally started with us trying to get a hold of our sleep deprived selves...we had to give a sponge bath to the baby...that was again a scary thing to do...as beginners we played safe..we used the wet wipes to clean him...making sure his umbilical cord is untouched..it looks kinda creepy that thing..hanging from their navel!! He literally jumped when he was first touched with that wipe..then he was like Okk...its just a wipe...no cold water..Cool!! :D By the time we managed to dress him up...he was already crying his lungs out for milk.
Milk meant I had to try feeding him again...I almost cringed at that thought...it reminded me of the hospital episode and now it was like testing time again...I wasn't really sure how will this session go but nevertheless I had to try. After a while of trying to get some milk, my baby was getting wild...I wasn't able to produce enough to satisfy his hunger and it felt seriously bad...like something was lacking in me..the way he was crying..I just fed him with formula milk to make him quite and he slept off...but I was wide awake..worried how will we cope up with this??
A lot of advice came in..eat jeera, garlic, take bath with hot water, drink lots of milk , eat methi etc etc...and I was mentally making a note of all...I was desperate to make things work...I did not want to be labelled as a mother who couldn't meet a basic requirement for her baby. I was taking all this way too seriously and it was stressing me out...which I realized later.
I took my mom's help to take a bath...after I dunno how many years..it felt weird but the hospital stay had prepared me for the worst so this was still bearable..it was my mum after all :) I was able to eat a bit...felt better than the day before when I was dying with gastric pain...the baby happily slept during the day for most hours...and so did I...took my medicines and slept for a while.
On waking up..I thought of trying to feed him again...but same thing repeated..and I was like shit...then I tried the breast pump and it just lead to my worst fears coming true...I could barely pump in 20ml of milk after trying for half n hour...so obviously the baby will be hungry...I had never anticipated this problem...I thought feeding is like the most natural thing to happen ...you have a baby and you get milk to feed him...nobody told me about this issue...am I the only one facing this?? As per all the ladies around me...it did not happen to them..and then they just blamed it on having a "c-sec" and my age..stressing again on how important it is to have kids on time (which means before 30).
This was the last thing I needed to hear...I was almost in tears...Yes!! it affects you that bad after delivery...hormones are still messing up with your brains and you feel everything to the extreme...super sensitive or super aggressive...there's no mid-way.
By evening a pandit ji was called to decide on the baby name letter - based on some astrological funda - I was up in my room and I really didn't even feel like being a part of it...luckily I had not decided on any name previously so I was open to options but I somehow do not really approve of this ..I think we should just let go of these practices...lets not label our babies right at birth - saying he's lucky/unlucky for his parents, get this pooja done, do this daan...its like you are beginning a life with fear...I badly wanted to say the same to the elders of the family but they seem so stuck with it that you feel there's no point arguing with them.
Hopefully our generation won't indulge in these practices and will make rational decisions instead!
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