I went for my 12th week scan...my tummy full of water and I felt I will burst if my scan is delayed for even 10 more seconds.The Radiologist called me in and by now my tummy had started to feel a bit hard - like some kind of layer is forming on the inside...it had started to protrude a bit so again I felt a wee bit conscious when i was told to pull my shirt up - but one minute into it and I was lost looking at the screen - there it was - a tiny little thing with the cutest hands and legs moving around or rather floating around ;) It was a sight to watch - both me and my husband were spellbound.It was like magic and to realize its all happening inside me - woooh - it still gives me goosebumps! That by far is one of my favorite moments in my life.
So - coming out of the dreamy world - about my life at that point of time - I was at home full time - taking rest, reading all about the baby and pregnancy, I had all the apps possible on my phone and my brain was flooded with all the information available - I remember initially there were days when I would just go on reading this stuff and it was noon already - its that addictive - the curiosity kills you at times - I almost felt like i need a camera fitted right inside me so that i can view and compare the growth of my baby with all this information I am reading about...and that never ending urge to pee...Damn i felt like putting my bed in the bathroom itself...would be so very convenient.
I was eating by far the healthiest diet of my life - was trying to stick to my walks and exercise - I don't think I had ever been that particular about my health ever before - I just wanted this time to be as smooth as possible...with minimal weight gain and also a part of me just wanted to get done with this once for all so "just play safe" is what I heard every time I thought diverting from this routine.
It was also the time when my family thought we can pass on the news to some close relatives which lead to a lot of unwanted advice from them - what to eat - what not to eat - why I should not be going out much - why I need to eat double the food - why I should think positive - even read some spiritual stuff - I mean the list was endless. It made me feel like I have been demoted back to that "Board era" where the moment you enter standard 10 - everybody just starts giving you all the gyaan in life and you know there is no escaping it till you get done with the shitty exams - in my case - it was my delivery...n lets not forget the stress on "Normal"delivery.
In the midst of all the excitement which had built up around me - there was a part of me which was not exactly happy - I was scared - all these changes - all of the advice - talks about how life changes after a kid had me thinking and a fear had started to creep in - I feared the change that had already made me feel restricted - physically and mentally too - I felt I was loosing my grip on my life - my freedom was slipping away from my hands - I wasn't allowed to go out much - reasons given - its not safe, don't exhaust yourself etc...I couldn't eat what I wanted to most times (it wasn't healthy cos)...I could not wear the kind of clothes I wanted to (I was barely fitting in them :( )..all of this and much more.
I had pictured myself enjoying this break - reading all the time - sleeping as much as I like - catching up on all my favourite movies - I was taking a break after 7.5 years of work and little did I know that it will turn out to be one of the most difficult times of my life. After just 1 week of being at home..I had started to feel worthless - like I have no purpose in life - especially when I saw everyone else in the family going to work in the morning - I had my reasons to stay back but that somehow that didn't feel suffice.I missed my routine, my work and my salary too at times :) Reading became a task to keep myself occupied - I realized that you cherish your hobbies more when you do not get much time for them - they lose their charm when you have the whole day to pursue them.
With every passing day...it was becoming difficult for me to kill time...I had started to feel negativity in my thoughts and to add to the misery were some incidents I heard about where husbands were cheating on their preggo wives...I mean thats the last thing you need to hear when you anyways are feeling excessively conscious about the way your belly has started to swell...there is no sign of pregnancy glow people talk about and the sleepless nights are adding on to your dark circles!!
A serious advice every husband needs while his wife is pregnant is - compliment her as often as you can possibly think of...she needs it badly...more than ever now...she needs to see that you still admire her. It is an essential part of taking care of her...not just food and comfort but also she needs to be at peace in her mind and you can help her achieve that....just make her feel loved like never before.
So - coming out of the dreamy world - about my life at that point of time - I was at home full time - taking rest, reading all about the baby and pregnancy, I had all the apps possible on my phone and my brain was flooded with all the information available - I remember initially there were days when I would just go on reading this stuff and it was noon already - its that addictive - the curiosity kills you at times - I almost felt like i need a camera fitted right inside me so that i can view and compare the growth of my baby with all this information I am reading about...and that never ending urge to pee...Damn i felt like putting my bed in the bathroom itself...would be so very convenient.
I was eating by far the healthiest diet of my life - was trying to stick to my walks and exercise - I don't think I had ever been that particular about my health ever before - I just wanted this time to be as smooth as possible...with minimal weight gain and also a part of me just wanted to get done with this once for all so "just play safe" is what I heard every time I thought diverting from this routine.
It was also the time when my family thought we can pass on the news to some close relatives which lead to a lot of unwanted advice from them - what to eat - what not to eat - why I should not be going out much - why I need to eat double the food - why I should think positive - even read some spiritual stuff - I mean the list was endless. It made me feel like I have been demoted back to that "Board era" where the moment you enter standard 10 - everybody just starts giving you all the gyaan in life and you know there is no escaping it till you get done with the shitty exams - in my case - it was my delivery...n lets not forget the stress on "Normal"delivery.
In the midst of all the excitement which had built up around me - there was a part of me which was not exactly happy - I was scared - all these changes - all of the advice - talks about how life changes after a kid had me thinking and a fear had started to creep in - I feared the change that had already made me feel restricted - physically and mentally too - I felt I was loosing my grip on my life - my freedom was slipping away from my hands - I wasn't allowed to go out much - reasons given - its not safe, don't exhaust yourself etc...I couldn't eat what I wanted to most times (it wasn't healthy cos)...I could not wear the kind of clothes I wanted to (I was barely fitting in them :( )..all of this and much more.
I had pictured myself enjoying this break - reading all the time - sleeping as much as I like - catching up on all my favourite movies - I was taking a break after 7.5 years of work and little did I know that it will turn out to be one of the most difficult times of my life. After just 1 week of being at home..I had started to feel worthless - like I have no purpose in life - especially when I saw everyone else in the family going to work in the morning - I had my reasons to stay back but that somehow that didn't feel suffice.I missed my routine, my work and my salary too at times :) Reading became a task to keep myself occupied - I realized that you cherish your hobbies more when you do not get much time for them - they lose their charm when you have the whole day to pursue them.
With every passing day...it was becoming difficult for me to kill time...I had started to feel negativity in my thoughts and to add to the misery were some incidents I heard about where husbands were cheating on their preggo wives...I mean thats the last thing you need to hear when you anyways are feeling excessively conscious about the way your belly has started to swell...there is no sign of pregnancy glow people talk about and the sleepless nights are adding on to your dark circles!!
A serious advice every husband needs while his wife is pregnant is - compliment her as often as you can possibly think of...she needs it badly...more than ever now...she needs to see that you still admire her. It is an essential part of taking care of her...not just food and comfort but also she needs to be at peace in her mind and you can help her achieve that....just make her feel loved like never before.
Waiting for more ;-*
ReplyDeleteIt's out now...waiting for your comments!! :)
ReplyDelete