The sun's rays lit up our room...I could barely sleep through the night but I felt much better in terms of the physical discomfort I had the day before...the pain had subsided...I could move a bit and my legs were free now that machine was off me.But I was thirsty...my throat was dry like a desert...without a drop of water since yesterday. I never knew I could miss having water as much as I did then...I was craving for a drop of water...the on duty doctor came and suggested I can be given a spoon of water to begin with....if i do not feel any pain or discomfort post that they'll give me a glass of juice after some gap...I could have drooled looking at that spoon of water if I had enough saliva in my mouth...it was that tempting!!
Once I got a hold of myself....I got my baby in my hands finally...Aww that little thing...so delicate...I was almost scared to touch it fearing it'll disturb his sleep...and then suddenly he made this weird funny sound...something like ...uugggghhhh...and I just had to control my laughter...it would have hurt my stitches...and I was surprised to hear this...like a tiny little baby making that sound...that too while sleeping...indeed is funny...the nurse around said babies do that...and I was aaaahhhh...I had no clues about it...then he started moving his hands and he started to let out a the cutest cry...and in less than 5 seconds that turned into a wail...and I was like that was quick!!
So now I had to try and feed him...I had read about it...watched videos on how to go about it but nothing could have prepared me for what was about to happen...I tried feeding him but he wasn't able to suck properly...I asked the nurse for help and then....I had three people around me...2 holding the baby and one telling me on how to go about it...followed by some tips coming from my mom...I was in complete distress...it was almost like a public affair...and to top it all I wasn't getting the feed. This probably is closest what our expression was at that time - looking at each other :D
Once people realized that...it was like a series of torture that was about to be inflicted on me...right from endless advice to the scary warnings...that if your baby does not get your feed it will be really bad for him...mother's feed is superbly important...you have to do something about it...and it went on and on and on....so I tried everything...using nipple shields...to breast pump...but nothing worked...at least not that day and I was super tensed...what will I do now? Will my baby be ok?? What if I do not get any feed for him?? Will he survive?
That chain of thoughts continued for a good number of days even after I got my discharge...as the problem persisted.
For mother's like me we have Formula milk - a blessing indeed. So we fed him with it till we had a solution to my problem. By then we had lots of visitors coming to see us..majorly him...I looked like some ghost right out of a horror movie...my hair was all over the place...face looked like a jaundice patient with big dark circles around my eyes.I had read it somewhere that while you prepare your hospital bag for delivery...keep things like a Lip gloss, dry shampoo and a BB cream handy so that you look good for the visitors...but trust me at that time...you give a shit to what people think about your looks...infact you don't want people to come in...you just need your rest and anything that keeps you distracted from the pain/discomfort..make up is absolutely not required...you wont have the energy only to think about it!
I finally got my breakfast and juice and that was the yummiest meal I had in a looong time...thats what fasting for a whole day makes you feel like...I had never loved bournvita milk as much as I did today...yummmmm....it was luxury :D
Then it was time to pee....and ohhh..I needed 2 people to hold me and make me stand up...then I needed 1 person to help me pee...tie back my lowers...that was one moment where I felt absolutely disgusted at this whole process...why does it have to be this bad?? By now I had trashed the concept of privacy...I couldn't afford to stick to it given my condition...and also funnily the nurses were almost congratulating me once I was done...like some milestone achieved..."She peeed" ...like a full on announcement!! Similar thing happened when I pooped and I was like wowww....it has never been that important...LOL!!
The next day we were all set for discharge...I got my dose of advice for the baby and me from the pediatrician, Nutritionist and the Lactation consultant ...I had to meet my doctor and the pediatrician again in a week's time. I was happy to go home...these past 3 days had been quite different than what I had expected...and none of the baby sites or apps prepared me for this...which is why I have intentionally mentioned everything that you do not expect otherwise...had to...I almost felt its my duty to do to do it.
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